Daily Music

023.

by Rachel-Rebecka

Sleep Token dropped this beauty on April 3, and I have been listening to it nonstop since the YouTube premiere:

A little bit different lyrically that “Emergence,” a lot more personal and it hit me straight in the feels, but it makes me even more excited for what the album is going to sound like when it comes out on May 9. These gentlemen are so talented – it’s hard for me to wrap my head around sometimes.

One of my goals for 2025 was to take better care of myself. I have been feeling the weight of burnout for some time now, and I finally was able to push past my anxiety and the whole “the office will implode if I’m not there” mental gymnastics I do on myself, and I booked some time off. It’s on Easter weekend, so I will only actually be missing 2 days of work, but it’s going to be a solid chunk of time where I can just… be, and reconnect with myself and not have to worry about so-and-so forgetting their prescription or whoever needing to see the doctor right now.

It’s going to be glorious, and I will take nothing less. I’m going to get out into the sun, into the backyard and clear it up, and I’m going to finally get a hold of the tornado that’s moved through my home in the last little while. I’ve already encountered the “it’s not really a holiday if you’re just going to work around at home” and while I would have agreed with that sentiment 10 years ago, now I find that I enjoy being productive and working around my home. While bed rotting does serve as a lovely thing every once and awhile, if I did that all of the time, I would get bored and angry and develop a migraine. Not so much fun.

To be completely honest, I think I’m closer to burnout that I’d care to admit. I feel the weight of it all the time, even now as I’m writing this.

The only good thing that’s happened in the last couple of weeks is that I am feeling the poetry juices flowing again. I’ve written something that I quite like, and once I hammer out a few of the lines so that it flows a bit better, I’ll add it to the “Writings” section.

I hope this opens the floodgates a little bit. We’ll see. 🙂

Daily Music Weight Loss Journey

022.

by Rachel-Rebecka

I didn’t mean to disappear again. I’ve been having some… mental blocks? I guess you could call them that. Every time I sit down to write, I got nothing. My English teacher always told me that if I wasn’t able to write, just to write about not being able to write, and the dam would break. We’ll see how that goes.

February and March have gone by so fast. I was battling a very nasty case of strep throat for most of it, which took me to the ER a couple of weeks ago because my uvula was so swollen that it blocked my airway. I don’t go to the ER often, so you know if something takes me there, it’s pretty dire. The doctor I saw was wonderful. She gave me dexamethasone (that stuff was a miracle – I didn’t realize how much I was struggling until I took it and all my swelling vanished an hour later), children’s Advil and Tylenol, and an outpatient prescription for penicillin-VK.

Turns out that I have developed an allergy to penicillin, which caused my gums on the left side to become severely swollen and inflamed, and a petechiae rash on my legs. I have never been allergic to any medication I’ve ever taken, so that was a very new situation for me. My doctor was quite concerned, and he wants me to get tested formally, but I’m not sure if I’m game for something like that yet. I’m finally feeling better and eating properly… I don’t want to give that up just yet.

My birthday ended up being pretty low key. Charlie bought Indian food from my favourite place, and we had red velvet cake. So far, 37 is okay. I don’t feel any different. I thought I would be a bit of a wreck about it, because I’m creeping close to the big 4-0 now, but I have found that I don’t really care about it. I don’t feel my age, I don’t look my age, and as long as I feel okay and keep up with my health, I’ll be fine.

I’ve gotten my formal diagnosis of diabetes, as well. That happened. I did the stupid glucose tolerance test (worst two hours of my life don’t cha know) and it came back with an elevated fasting glucose. It wasn’t super high, but it was enough to be over the line. I’ve been taking metformin, but my doctor and I are talking about switching me to Ozempic. He told me that metformin is weight-neutral, and he wants me on something that’s going to help me with weight loss. I don’t see him again until May – if I see my bariatric doctor before that, I might just ask them to prescribe it for me. I scored some samples from the pharmacy rep, but I’m too scared to try it without talking to someone first.

Other than that… life has just been work, school, taking care of the girls, and coven stuff. Also, new Sleep Token dropped and I’ve been listening to it on repeat since it came out. Apparently, we’re getting a new single on April 4, by the name of “Caramel,” but we’ll see. Worship.

Beautiful, right? I swear, Vessel’s voice could melt butter. Sometimes I just marvel at the fact that he’s a real person; that a real person could be so talented.

Anywho. I’m working on some poetry that I’m hoping to polish up and share. I haven’t written poetry in a while, so I’m being gentle with myself. I’ll post that when I feel it’s ready to be shared.

Daily Music

021.

by Rachel-Rebecka

Before I start, I just need to drop this gem right here:

The witchy vibes in this video/song are intense. Especially when Gaga speaks about hearing a poem from the Lady in Red that details the end of your life, or however the lyric goes… screamed Badb at me immediately. I’m so happy that she’s coming out with a new album. In the same month that Behemoth is releasing their new album as well… May is going to be a good month for music.

Things have been a bit stressful around here. Dad ended up having to go into the hospital a week and a half ago… he ended up having a breakdown at the dinner table and it looked too much like a seizure for me to not do anything. He was thoroughly evaluated, and they were unable to find anything medically wrong, aside from things that are age-related. The nurses were concerned about all of the same things that I was concerned about, including his depression, but they released him so I guess they weren’t too concerned. I am in the process of trying to get him registered for home care so that the care aides come out once or twice a week and assist him with his daily living activities and whatnot. I am hoping that he won’t refuse, because he needs the help and I, unfortunately, cannot provide it.

Trying to get all the legal stuff on board as well. There is a wonderful lawyer in my building and to get my dad’s will, a representation agreement, and power of attorney done, it’s $1000. I’ve asked around and that seems pretty standard (my Jody paid $800 just for her will). Once those agreements are in place, I have a lot of work to do to get the finances in order and figure out what’s what. I’m having to educate myself as I go, so it’s been an interesting experience trying to get everything together and make a plan. Thankfully my Charlie is the best support person I could ever ask for. I couldn’t imagine dealing with all of this if he wasn’t with me. All of my hair would fall out.

I got the results back for my PIE exam. With both my theory and my transcriptions combined, I got 95%. Not the best, I know I can do better, but considering the dictations that they gave me, I’m just glad I did that well. The mistakes I made were pretty stupid, mostly adding too many commas or commas in the wrong places. I need to keep reminding myself that I need to go slower and to check more often in my Book of Style what the rules are. Medical grammar is not the same as traditional English grammar and I need to get that straight in my head. I’m working through the skeletal system right now, and I have 15 dictations left to do. I was hoping to be done with them today, but my transcription platform isn’t working. This, of course, happens outside the IT hours, and if I enter a ticket for it, they won’t be able to address it until tomorrow and the issue will probably resolve itself before then. Here’s to hoping, anyhow.

This week is going to be good, I think. I get my new CPAP machine on Wednesday, Lupercalia is on Friday, and then I have a long weekend to look forward to. I’m going to make some magick and get some things done. Hopefully, the cool snap lets up a bit (let’s be honest – to go from 1°C to -29°C in a couple of days is a huge dip) so that I can make a couple of runs to the Salvation Army and the share sheds to drop off some things. I’m making my best effort to declutter, and so far I’ve gone through most of my closet and purged my clothes. I need to purge more because I still have a ridiculous amount, but I hope someone gets use out of what I’m getting rid of. Next is books and possibly makeup… we’ll see how it goes.